Professor Quote Archive

Welcome to the Professor Quote Archive.

Frequently, we've been in classes where the professor has a bit of a sense of humor, whether its natural or not. These professors are wise creatures, and are frequently the professors everyone wants to get. Their reputations precede them. They share with us their "wisdom"; those of us who pay attention every now and then in class can pick up some of this wisdom, if only through osmosis. This wisdom, in turn, finds its way here through the contributions of readers like you!

What is this "wisdom"?

Usually it takes the form of some humorous one-liner, not intended to really be humorous. Sometimes its just a statement that's surrounded by a pause, which when taken out of context appears to be rather off-color. Occasionally its an exchange between  the professor and a student. Almost always, it makes the class laugh.

About this site

This site is several years in the making. It started out as a collection of quotes from various professors on the Twin Cities Campus of the University of Minnesota. The original collection was put together by a colleague of mine while teaching the introductory C programming class there (CSCI 3113) back in 1997-98. He turned over his collection to me with but a single quarter left before graduation, and I posted it on my personal web site.

Now, nearly a decade later, and a graduate student, I find myself once again sitting in classes where these one-liners come out every now and then, and I've felt the need to resurrect the site. I'm cleaning it up, organizing it, and providing an easy way for fellow students to submit new quotes.

To the professors out there whose names are present, please don't be offended by the quotes. After all, you said it in the first place. The truth is, the student who submitted that quote probably ended up remembering more of your subject matter because of that quote than would have been remembered otherwise.